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ruinedchildhood:

when mom says dinners ready

mishasjockstrap:

soudcloud:

he asked for a blowjob and i blew him away with the word of the lord

image

309,374 notes · reblog
tastefullyoffensive:

Mario Kart IRL. [zdedwards]
eyeballfarts:

cleverest homework answers

drunkmom2007:

supersmashbrothersbrawl:

5ky1er:

Mom: What do you want for your birthday?

Meimage

image

kiss me hard before you go

131,437 notes · reblog

sassykardashian:

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES

3,385 notes · reblog
Anonymous: I'm at work and I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, can you say something funny?

xekstrin:

mylife-beliike:

i-do-it-for-the-lesbians:

ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE

This kills me every time

"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"

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